To that guy that decided to drive 35 mph on a 65 mph two lane highway, "Go fuck yourself". And while I'm thinking of it, to the woman in the Escalade that couldn't decide which lane she should be driving in "Get fucked". And really, how goddamn hard is it to take up only one parking space? Oh, and to the fuckwit in the F150 that decided to pass me and then slow down, I hope you get renal failure. I'm not angry, just tired of all the halwits that seem to have been able to get driver's licenses.
[ add comment ] ( 8 views ) | permalink |
( 2.9 / 74 )
It appears that once again the Chinese are training monkeys of amazing strength. I hope that this time they do not send these super-human monkey armies to attack us, but I fear the worst. This monkey alone could take on 50 men (or 100 midgets) and not break a sweat. I cannot read the Chinese writing but I believe it says "Fear us America we have super strong monkeys that can lift 1 billion tons". Definitely not words of peace![ add comment ] ( 33 views ) | permalink |
( 3 / 124 )I'm not so sure robots are getting a fair shake. Sure, they have the strength of 10 men, and are incredibly easy to anger, but I think they also have a lighter and more playful side. For instance earlier today while I was in the park cataloging the ratio of people sleeping in cars
against the number of weird older men surreptitiously watching the mens bathroom (1:1), I noticed what initially appeared to be a human being picking up various bits of paper and plastic and putting it in a large plastic bag. As it turned out, this was a robot! (Wow, the things they can do with technology). Here we have a robot altruistically performing a menial task that was formerly done by illegal immigrants. The robot harmed no one during the process, and actually went out of it's way to avoid human contact. (I know this because I attempted to approach the robot, saying calming things like 'Do not harm me Robot, I have an anti-robotic ray gun hidden under my pith helmet', and 'Hello Robot, may I examine your circuitry?" in a loud voice). I fully realize that the flip side of this is that the robot was merely acting tamely so as to put all of us humans at ease so that when the great robot takeover occurs we are all surprised, and unable to resist, but that is a glass half empty approach. Add to this, it seems robots do not like to be monitored while performing the trash collection task, no more than 5 minutes after I started my observations (safely following the robot from a distance of 7 feet), the robot stopped it's task and ran to a nearby truck where it was driven off (by another robot?). So, robots; good or bad? We'd all better hope good!
[ add comment ] ( 1 view ) | permalink |
( 3 / 119 )
It's no secret. I want a pet monkey. A constant companion that could sit on my shoulder, fetch things for me, and attack my tormentors, co-workers, and anyone else I pointed at. Originally, I wanted a midget, but it was pointed out to me that firstly, I can't buy a midget, secondly, there would be considerable upkeep on a midget, and finally that there aren't as many midgets to go around as most people think.
I also hear that the correct term is 'dwarf', but that doesn't sound right, since most midgets I see don't have long beards, pointy hats or carry a large hammer. (I think that the entire dwarf thing was an effort to trick me into looking foolish). Anyway, the only downside of getting a monkey instead of a midget is that, believe it or not, monkeys cannot read or write! So, if I do get the monkey, I'll have to skip the part where it writes down everything I say, and keeps appointments and phone numbers for me. While sacrificing this is difficult, I think it balances well against the lower upkeep involved. It's my understanding that even if they are small in stature, and average midget can eat up to 6 times his or her weight each day! I know I cannot afford that.
I also have to think that when I'm bored, the monkey will provide better entertainment. Now don't get me wrong, I know that midgets are amazing acrobats (doh, I've seen the circus), but I don't think they can hold a candle to how amazing a monkey juggling fruit can be. Plus midgets can't climb trees to get fruit (to juggle or for me to eat). I also have it on good authority that while midgets are unrepentant booze hounds, monkeys are veritable teetotalers, so I won't have to worry about sending my monkey off to get me a refreshing alcoholic libation or even a beer.That pretty much put's paid to the argument, I've settled on getting a monkey, and now the only question that remains is what I'll name the sweet little creature. I'm leaning toward Haji.
[ add comment ] ( 2 views ) | permalink |
( 2.9 / 122 )
Last Wednesday, I was sitting around having flashed the rom on my TMobile Wing (HTC Herald) to Opentouch running Windows Mobile 6.1, and thinking, damn, I wish I had an iPhone. Part of the reason is that I'd recently jailbroken my iPod Touch and was tremendously enjoying freedom from the hamfisted nazi's that run Apple. So, I muse, how could I get an iPhone. I have two hurdles; it costs over $400, it runs on AT&T (I'm no TMobile). I ponder the onerous burden that selling my Touch and Wing on eBay would bring, the paypal fees, the scammers, the ebay fees, the tiresome boxing and shipping and then I remember Craigslist.I do some research and am reasonably sure that I can unlock the phone from AT&T and use it on TMobile. I make plans to visit the AT&T store before lunch so I can pick up an iPhone and play with it, making sure it works before selling my Wing.
I put the Wing on Craigslist for about $50 more than I would sell it for and literally 45 minutes later I have a committed cash buyer with no haggling. And they want it by noon. This doesn't give me time to get and test an iPhone, but hey, in for a penny in for a pound. So, I sell the phone, go to the AT&T store, get an iPhone and return to work. I download ZiPhone and 20 minutes later I'm happily using TMobile on an iPhone (even using the $5.99 TZones access to surf, get weather, google maps, and get mail).
The next day I sell the Touch. I end up with an extra $100 in profit and an iPhone. Fuck yes. In a matter of two days Craigslist helps me achieve my dreams. And yes, I love the iPhone, it's unix under the hood, and endlessly configurable.
[ 1 comment ] ( 1095 views ) | permalink |
( 2.9 / 111 )
Calendar
